The Pain of Loss
by Tommy4eva
Summary: Life takes a cruel twist of fate in this oneshot. It's sad, I warn you, but a good kind of sad. I swaer it's better than it sounds, I'm just not too good at writing summarys. I dont own anything in Instant Star except for this idea. That's all mine.


**So just so you know, Jude is 24 and her and Tommy have been dating ever since she was 23. Um, that's all you really need to know. I hope that you like it. **

Jude was sitting in the studio, working on her record while Tommy was in the restroom when it happened. A lunatic burst through the front doors, waving a gun in the air. Jude was the first to see him. After he shot it one time, the screaming began. The smart people dropped to the floor, covering their heads. The stupid people, who were about 5 or 6, ran around. They paid for their stupidity with their life. Jude had whipped out her cell and called the police while running to the door and locking it, getting Spied, Wally, and Kyle to help her push the couch against the door. She was thankful that everyone she loved in G-Major was safe. Kwest, SME, and Sadie were all in the room with her and Darius and Portia were out getting lunch. Then her mind went to Tommy. He had been listening to his I Pod full blast when he walked out. Her heart gave a fearful squeeze and she hoped that he would stay in the bathroom, maybe he heard the gunshot.

As the police finally picked up the line, she handed to phone off to Sadie, who began to explain the situation to them in a surprisingly calm voice. Jude demanded that someone gave her their cell to use and in a second three were right in front of her. She grabbed one at random on that same second and pressed the familiar numbers to Tommy's cell phone. She knew that it was on vibrate and on his pocket, but her heart dropped when she heard a strange and out of place vibrating noise. She wildly looked around and found the source of the noise. Tommy's cell was sitting on the soundboard.

Then another shot went off.

Jude's hand felt limp and the phone fell out, falling to the ground. She slowly turned around, knowing already what she was going to see, the tears already coming. There he was, his face a mask of pain as he fell to his knees. His mouth was open in yell, but no noise was coming out. He looked over towards the studio, looking through the window and seeing Jude's face, now twisted in horror of losing the love of her life. Tommy's face may have been a pure mask of pain, but when she looked into his eyes, Jude saw a different message. He was saying a loving goodbye.

The tears pooled in her eyes and spilled over, making trails down her cheeks as he fell forward, landing face first onto the ground, red blood starting to slowly pool around him. The tears came faster and faster, some running into her open mouth, and she stood in pure heartbreak and shock. Then a memory surfaced.

They had been sharing and romantic night, and Tommy said that when he died he the last thing that he wanted to see was Jude's face. That has been the last thing he saw, but it he had promised that his death would be him at a ripe old age, safe and warm in his bed.

Then reality sunk in.

Tommy was dead. He was really dead.

Jude fell to her knees as pain of loss ripped through her body, making her weak in the knees and leaving her breathless gasping for air. She let out a wail of sadness, thankful that this whole room was soundproof so that the lunatic would still be oblivious of the fact that people were in this room. Jude felt warm hands on her shoulders, but she screamed no and let her upper body fall to the ground, putting her weight on her forearms and sobbing, weakly pounding the ground every now and then. No one tried to comfort her in her fit and pain and hysterics, and she was thankful. Then she remembered a gun that Darius had put in all the recording studios a month or so back. She sat up, then stood up and walked over to its hiding place, the tears still coming in fast, silent rivers. She took the small, silver, and deadly weapon and made sure bullets were in it before taking it off safety and walking towards the door. Everyone tired to stop her, but she plowed through them, pushing the couch out of the way with surprising strength and unlocking the door, swinging it open.

Jude raised the gun and fired, hitting the man in the shoulder. She fired again and hit him in his right knee, and fired again and hit him on the hand that he wielded the gun in. Deeming in safe, she dropped the weapon and sprinted over to Tommy's side, sitting right in his blood and pulling him onto her lap with great effort.

"Tommy? Tommy? Don't leave me!" She sobbed out, brushing his cheek with her blood free hand.

"Jude?" His voice was faint, weak. He was dieing. His eyes fluttered open, but looked blindly ahead.

"Yes, its me!" She gasped out.

"I can't see your face." His voice was getting fainter. He blindly felt around in the air with a bloody hand, finally finding Jude's face, and ghost of a smile came to his lips.

"I love you," Was the last thing that Tommy Quincy ever said, leaving Jude without being even able to say them back.

"No! No! No!" Jude wailed, hugging Tommy close to her and rocking back and forth. He was heavy but Jude never wanted to let go. "No! Stay with me!" She rested her head on the top of his, burying her nose in his hair. "Please?" She begged quietly. She heard moans of pain and looked up to see the lunatic, the man who killed her love, on the ground withering in agony. She softly put Tom back on the ground and got up, dead set on the man, covered in blood. She got up to him and kicked the gun away. "You sick bastard! How could you do this! How could you come in here and kill innocent people?" She screamed, kicking him in the side repeatedly. She kept asking how could you.

"Jude! Jude that's enough!" Sadie yelled, pulling Jude away.

"No! Don't touch me! This son of a bitch killed Tommy, don't you understand?" Jude struggled. She turned towards Sadie. "Don't you understand?" Her voice was quiet and she looked down at herself, covered in blood. "Why him Sadie? Why was he taken away from me?" Sadie pulled her younger sister to her chest, shushing her and comforting her. The police broke in and saw the man in pain on the ground and a woman covered in blood next to him with a beautiful blonde comforting her and knew that they were too late. Someone told someone to go check the man by the bathroom and Jude screamed. "No! You don't touch him!" She ran back over to Tom and threw herself over him. "Everyone just stay away!" Everyone in the room was looking at her with pity. Jude sat up and looked down at Tom's angelic face, so serene, not the mask of pain that it had been. "Why did you leave me?" Jude asked, touching his hair. "Answer me god dammit! Why did you leave me?" Jude yelled, the tears coming again. "You said that we would be together until we were old, but you cheated. You're not old, and now I have to be without you. No... no... I can't live without you Tom." She looked around and saw the gun that she had discarded lying untouched. No one was paying her any attention any longer. She got up and walked over to it, picking it up in her bloody hands. She sniffled and wiped running her nose. She took it back over to Tom and sat down next to him. "God I love you so much." She whispered, leaning down and kissing his already cold lips. She would never feel his body warmth around her again, never feel his lips crashing on hers in a passionate kiss again, never see his blue eyes watching her with love and adoration again. All these things she could never make it through the years without.

She cocked the gun and raised it to her head, closing her eyes and letting on final tear fall down her cheek. She pulled the trigger and heard the bang, but there was no black, there was no sense of relief, just the feeling of something colliding into her and a small drop before hitting something hard. And she heard yelling. She opened her eyes.

"Just let me do it. Please. I can't live without him." Jude begged Spied. He shook his head. To her the were the only teo people in the world and all the other noises came to her ears muffled.

"Tom would never want you to kill yourself Jude. How could you be so selfish?" He demanded angrily. Jude put her hands to her face, sobbing.

"I know! I know that he would never want me to do that! But he lied to me! He said that we would always be together. He filled me up with pretty lies!" She yelled, "Why am I so angry at him?"

"It's okay to be angry at him Jude, its okay." Spied whispered. Jude rolled onto her side and got up. She walked into the bathroom and splashed water on her face. She felt exhausted. She looked in the mirror and was horrified and what she saw. Not only was she covered in Tom's blood but also she could barely see her eyes they were so puffy from crying. She scrubbed her hands and arms in the sink, then her face. She got off and much blood as she could before walking back out. The police were putting Tom in a black body bag.

"Wait!" She yelled. Everyone looked at her and she walked up to Tom, placing another small kiss on his lips. "You have no idea how much I love you and how much I will always love you. You will always be in my heart Tom Quincy, and no one else will ever, _ever _replace you. Never will I be able to fall in love again, but even if you were alive and we broke aprart, it would still be the same. My you rest in peace where ever you are my love." She kissed in forehead and walked into Sadie's waiting arms. "Take me to your place?" She asked as tears began to fall again. "I just need to sleep."

**Okay, and that's the end. I wrote it cause I've been writing a lot of Jommy lately and I was in the mood for something sad. Please tell me if you thought that it was horrible or good or great or whatever you thought about it. I will love you forever. D  
**

**xoxo,**

**-Shannon **


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